What is Matrescence? The Life-Changing Transition No One Talks About

Becoming a mother is often described as one of life’s greatest joys. But what if, alongside love and excitement, you also feel overwhelmed, lost, or like you’re mourning the person you used to be?

If you’ve ever wondered, Why do I feel so different? or Why is no one talking about this?—the answer is matrescence.

Matrescence is the psychological, emotional, hormonal, and physical transformation a woman goes through when she becomes a mother. Think of it as the motherhood equivalent of adolescence—a major identity shift that impacts every aspect of life.

Yet, unlike adolescence, matrescence is rarely talked about. And because it’s invisible, many women struggle in silence, wondering if they’re the only ones feeling this way.

In this article, we’ll explore:

✅ What matrescence is and why it matters

✅ The emotional and physical shifts that happen

✅ Why this transition can feel so overwhelming

✅ How to navigate matrescence with more self-compassion

By the end, you’ll realize: You’re not alone, and what you’re feeling is completely normal.

What is Matrescence?

The term matrescence was first coined by anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s. However, it wasn’t widely recognized in psychology or healthcare until recently.

Matrescence describes the all-encompassing transformation a woman experiences when she becomes a mother. Unlike pregnancy, which is tracked week by week with clear milestones, matrescence is an ongoing process—a transition that unfolds over months and years.

How is Matrescence Like Adolescence?

Think about adolescence—the rapid shifts in identity, emotions, body, relationships, and hormones. Matrescence is similar, except instead of transitioning from child to adult, you’re transitioning from woman to mother.

In both cases, changes happen on four levels:

• Physical (hormonal shifts, body changes)

• Emotional (heightened sensitivity, identity shifts)

• Psychological (self-doubt, increased responsibility)

• Social (relationships evolving, changing priorities)

  
  

Adolescents often receive support, understanding, and guidance during this transition. But mothers don’t—leaving many to navigate matrescence feeling confused, exhausted, and isolated.

The Emotional Shift of Matrescence

Many mums describe early motherhood as an emotional rollercoaster—feeling joy and grief, love and loss, connection and loneliness—all at once.

This isn’t a sign of failure. It’s the natural push and pull of matrescence.

You might feel:

• Overwhelmed by responsibility – The weight of being “everything” for your baby.

• Disconnected from yourself – Wondering Who am I now?

• Anxious or overstimulated – Finding it hard to relax, constantly feeling “on.”

• Mourning your old life – Missing your freedom, spontaneity, or career.

• Guilt for wanting time for yourself – Struggling to balance motherhood with personal needs.

  
  

These emotions aren’t a sign that you don’t love your baby. They are a normal part of identity evolution—just like the highs and lows of adolescence.

The Physical and Hormonal Changes of Matrescence

While matrescence is mostly discussed in terms of mental and emotional changes, the physical transformation is just as profound.

What Happens to Your Body in Matrescence?

• Hormonal Shifts – Estrogen and progesterone drop rapidly postpartum, leading to mood swings and energy fluctuations.

• Oxytocin Increases – Known as the “love hormone”, oxytocin strengthens your bond with your baby but can also heighten emotional sensitivity.

• Blood Sugar & Energy Fluctuations – Postpartum energy crashes are common, especially if meals are skipped.

• Brain Changes – Research shows motherhood physically restructures the brain, enhancing emotional connection but also increasing anxiety sensitivity.

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This explains why even when your baby sleeps, you may still feel on edge—your brain is wired for hyper-awareness during early motherhood.

Understanding these changes is crucial because it helps you be kinder to yourself. Your body is doing exactly what it’s meant to—but it also needs nourishment and support.

Why Matrescence Can Feel Overwhelming

So if matrescence is natural, why do so many mothers struggle in silence?

The answer is cultural expectations.

In many societies, motherhood is romanticized—painted as a time of effortless joy. But in reality, mums are expected to:

✔ Care for a newborn with little to no support

✔ “Bounce back” physically and emotionally

✔ Balance work, relationships, and motherhood seamlessly

✔ Suppress their own needs without complaint

These expectations don’t just create pressure—they create guilt. When reality doesn’t match what we’ve been told, we assume something is wrong with us rather than recognizing that motherhood was never meant to be done alone.

How to Navigate Matrescence With More Ease

Matrescence isn’t something to “fix.” It’s a transition to understand and honour.

1. Name It: Acknowledge the Transition

Many mums feel relief just from having a word for what they’re experiencing. You’re not broken. You’re becoming.

2. Support Your Nervous System

Matrescence can leave you feeling constantly on edge. Simple practices to regulate your nervous system include:

• Eating protein & healthy fats to stabilize blood sugar.

• Practicing slow, deep breathing when feeling overwhelmed.

• Getting small moments of rest (even 5 minutes counts).

  
  

3. Find a Supportive Community

Motherhood was never meant to be done alone. Connecting with others who understand matrescence can make all the difference.

4. Release Guilt for Having Needs

You don’t stop being a person when you become a mother. Your needs still matter. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

You Are Not Alone in Matrescence

Matrescence is a transformation. The more we talk about it, the more mums will realize:

💛 You are not failing, you are evolving.

💛 You are not alone, even when it feels like it.

💛 You deserve support through this transition.

📲 Want expert-led guidance on matrescence? Download the FREE Carol App on IOS and Android today and get access to expert support, resources, and a community that truly understands.